The Weirdest Automation Requests I Get (And Why I Love Them)
Let me tell you something about automation. It's supposed to be this sleek, sensible tool that makes your life run like clockwork. You know, the usual suspects: scheduling social media posts, organizing your inbox, maybe syncing your calendar with your to-do list. Normal stuff.
But sometimes? Sometimes people come to me with ideas that make me wonder if they've been drinking from the creative fire hose. And honestly? Those are my favorite conversations.
1. The Fitness Police State
Picture this: A client walks in (well, virtually) and asks me to build something that would make Big Brother blush. They wanted their smart home to automatically flag any contact who hadn't moved their Fitbit-wearing behind in seven days straight.
But wait, it gets better.
These "suspects" would then receive daily automated messages starting with "Under observation 👀" and escalating to what I can only describe as emoji terrorism: "STILL WATCHING YOU 👁️👁️👁️⚡💀"
I gently suggested that maybe—just maybe—their friends might find this less "caring accountability partner" and more "digital stalker with a step-counting obsession." We compromised on a simple weekly fitness challenge invite instead. Privacy laws (and friendships) remained intact.
2. The Mother-in-Law Mood Ring
Here's where my heart melted a little. An 82-year-old gentleman wanted to create what he called his "MIL Peace Protocol"—an automated system that would analyze his mother-in-law's emails for emotional undertones and automatically trigger appropriate responses.
- Happy email detected? Boom—flowers ordered.
- Sad vibes? Instant delivery of her favorite baking supplies.
- Passive-aggressive subtext? (His words, not mine.) Emergency chocolate deployment.
The man had spreadsheets. Color-coded spreadsheets. With mood indicators cross-referenced against gift categories. I've never seen sentiment analysis meet such pure, determined optimism. We ended up setting up some simple keyword triggers, and last I heard, his mother-in-law thinks he's psychic.
3. The Literary Lifestyle Generator
This one still makes my brain do somersaults. A book blogger wanted their reading history analyzed monthly to determine their "current protagonist energy," then have that personality profile automatically generate:
- A themed meal plan (yes, including any "mystical mushroom diets")
- Interior decorating suggestions
- A Spotify playlist
- Dating profile updates (I'm not making this up)
They called it "Method Reading." I called it "ambitious." We settled on a quarterly reading summary with some fun character analysis. The mushroom recipes stayed optional.
4. The Great Parent Escape
A twentysomething tech worker came to me with what they considered genius-level parental management. They wanted a chatbot that would play dead whenever Mom or Dad messaged "Are you home yet?"
The bot would respond with increasingly elaborate excuses, each one signed by their fictional "cool step-brother Brad" who was supposedly house-sitting. Complete with typos. And Progressive insurance jokes. Because apparently, fictional Brad worked there.
I asked what would happen when their parents inevitably called Brad. They hadn't thought that far ahead. Youth, am I right?
Here's What I've Learned
These wild requests? They're not really about the automation. They're about connection, care, creativity, and sometimes just the human desire to make life a little more interesting (or avoid awkward conversations with Mom).
Every bizarre idea teaches me something. Sometimes it's a technical challenge that leads to a genuinely useful solution. Sometimes it's a reminder that technology should serve human quirks, not iron them out. And sometimes? Sometimes it's just a really good story that makes my job the best kind of weird.
So keep those odd requests coming. Just maybe think twice before automating your way into a restraining order. Your Fitbit friends will thank you.
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